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Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

…it’s like cotton candy.  You take it in until you throw it up.

Driving home last night after a late visit to the train station, listening to a new CD.  I have this ridiculous tendency to play songs in my car on repeat.  Sometimes I can drive a good hour listening to the same song.  Drives people nuts…you can sue my mother for her hereditary obsessive/compulsive hand-me-downs if you wish. 

Anyways, back to the story.  I was listening to one song over and over when I just started bawling.  I think my hormones are punishing me for skipping off on my birth control this month.  It’s so unwarranted, those little bastards. Regardless, I had this miniature breakdown where I just sat there, driving and bawling in my car.  Reason being is that I am one confused little cookie.  A really delicious and satisfying cookie, but a confused one nonetheless…

How long did it take you to realize its the result of a boy?  What, like, 3 seconds?  Figured as much…you kids aren’t stupid. Doesn’t it always stem back to an XY chromosome somewhere? Ridiculous, the power that men hold over women.  I almost wish I could go into detail, but unfortunately with blogs you don’t always get the open honesty that an author can insert into her personal journal.  You’re going to have to deal with what you get, which is as follows:

-Men are the most confusing creatures on the Earth, unless you try and bring sloths into the picture. What’s with those things, anyway?

-They say that sex crosses a typical male’s mind about once a day, while women have a tendency to pass it by.  False. So False.

– Here’s another one for ya… The average age to get married in America is disputed, but most people agree it’s around age 27.  So tell me, then, why a perfectly responsible young man wouldn’t dare think about marrige?  What’s with ‘hard to get’? Why are boys so into it?

…I could choose the path to self-mutilation and bang my head into the wall, as generations of our womanly ancestors have done every time they come into contact with a man.  I could go on and on and allow this blog post to actually make sense, but that is not how this blog will roll.  Not at all. Instead, I’m going to close with a few decent quotes for all women out there and then go running (while listening to songs on repeat) so I can regroup.

Enjoy,

-me

“What women want:  To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.  What men want:  Tickets to the World Series” 

-Dave Barry

“Girls who put out are tramps.  Girls who don’t are ladies.  Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn’t put out, do not jump to the conclusions that you have found a lady.  What you have probably found is a lesbian.”

-Fran Lebowitz

“For me, the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.”

Warren Beatty (Kind of creepy, thinking of Warren Beatty. Eww.)

“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.”

-Lana Turner

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