Archive for July, 2011


“My heart beat so hard when I was near him, I feared he could hear my secret longing for him.”  ~Destiny Vaestus

…its like the zombie virus.  It lays dormant for awhile, then suddenly and violently shows itself.  Hurray.

I’ve got the itch.  Not the zombie virus itch, sadly.  Once again, I go about my usual ways, and out of nowhere this problem presents itself and I am again diving into this black hole of human emotion (For those of you thinking I am referring to some sort of STD…you are correct.  Not really, but I see the 12-year-old humor in it all).  Really, I sometimes hate having to go through the whole human ordeal.  I think feelings are pointless sometimes, depending on the situation.  Sounds a little cold, but a little envy for the emotionless life of a sociopath can be quite appealing sometimes, minus the whole “let me kill people and not care ” thing.  Some emotions are wonderful, like the love I have for the little zombler.  A mother’s love is nearly never painful.  Everything else though can be a little intimidating at times.  I hate how society has deemed what emotions are appropriate for us to feel and the circumstances in which we are socially allowed to feel them. 

I guess the argument is this:  Why is it so bad to feel emotion for someone if it doesn’t follow social norms?

I mean, I understand the reckless aspect of it all.  It’s never a good idea to meet a guy, fall for him in a day, and then ring and a baby by the end of the month.  However, why is it an issue to long for someone after a few weeks?  Why is it socially awkward to want to be with someone when really you have no basis to, other than you feel something?  Then, to add insult to injury…you express how you long for that person…they respond in the same fashion, yet because of the rules of our society, those feelings must be suppressed.  Fear of rejection and going against the norm get in the way.  Is it so wrong to wholeheartedly throw yourself into the raw emotion you feel?  If the result isnt death or destruction, is it so wrong to cave and just go with that raw unabashed primal instinct to just be with that person?  Who says there need be a time limit that designates when passion is appropriate?

Why must distance be an issue?  Our society deems long distance relationships somewhat risqué and we are told they are nearly impossible to be happy in.  However, why is this so?  I understand the need for physical satisfaction, but other than the lessened amount of sexual contact, why does distance have to play a factor?  Distance is nothing.  Today, we have planes, cars, internet, etc.  Distance is a big joke. 

It is obvious to you, my dear readers, that I am having a hard time grasping this issue at hand.  It may also be obvious then, that I have gotten myself into quite the situation.  I would love to walk away and remain cold, as I try to with many other areas in my life.  But when it comes to the opposite sex it is nearly impossible for me to do so.  I am so picky and barely ever decide to give another my romantic interest.  When I do, it can be fleeting.  So why is it then, that when I actually want someone this time instead of vice versa, that all of this gets in the way?  I eagerly await the day when they create a pill that allows us to not feel attraction, so that we as humans can focus on humanitarian issues, career, etc. 

Until then, however, I am unable to get him off of my mind.  A few weeks is obviously nothing once you have made up your mind.  I curse society for ruining this opportunity that I had to actually let go of my inhibitions and experience something.

In every day terms…I’m sprung.  I want him so bad.  and he’s almost on the tip of my tongue, I can almost taste it….but its looking grim.

I obviously ditched on project 365, and my camera is on the fritz,

Ps. Allow me to leave you with ridiculous amounts of quotes that apply to my current mood.

The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough.  You must want it with an exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.  ~Sheila Graham

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~Abraham Lincoln

Sex is God’s joke on human beings. ~Bette Davis

Sex relieves tension – love causes it. ~Woody Allen

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada


Read Full Post »